Apr 13, She's a listening pro. She spends all day listening to patients, lecturers, residents, attending doctors, so she's basically a professional listener. What are peoples' thoughts on interns/residents handling getting matched with co -residents and medical students? Even anecdotal stories. Sep 29, Chief Resident, Harvard Affiliated Emergency Medicine Residency, Harvard Medical School, Boston, Massachusetts; Chief Resident, Brigham.
This was no time for a needy, wishy-washy boyfriend. I tried to leave no doubt in her mind on where I stood. I was ready to go anywhere with her and she needed to focus on finding her ideal residency program. She responded in the best possible way by making me part of the process as much as she could.
After every interview she did her best to rank each program. I even went to visit a few programs with her. In the meantime, I researched things like housing prices, job opportunities, and entertainment in most of the cities she visited.
Match Day was the most stressful experience ever. Her mom and dad came to town and joined us for the official opening of the envelopes. At her medical school, each med student is given the opportunity to open the envelope on stage or privately. With no desire to open hers in front of hundreds of people, Emily nervously led us to an open corner of the enormous room.
The Difficulties of Dating While Being a Female Doctor
She carefully opened her envelope and immediately began to cry. Overcome with emotion, tears streaming down her face, I held her in my arms. It was all I could do. Finally, I caught a glimpse.
Romance in medical school? These students say yes - The DO
She got her first choice! The rest of fourth year was like a vacation and we even got to take a real vacation to New Zealand. Then residency started and the reality sunk in. I knew that it would be difficult. I had heard all the stories.What It’s Like To Date A Med Student
But it was staggering how much she was at the hospital. When she finished med school she became a doctor and they were absolutely serious about that. They wasted no time putting her in with actual sick people and expected her to actually fix their problems — all of which was a shock to the system for her.
On top of that there were the insanely long shifts, lasting weeks at a stretch and switching from days to nights with not nearly enough time to recover. The ICU was the worst.
This was a trying time in our relationship. She was never home and they were pulling her to the limit at work. I grabbed the first job that came along and was feeling isolated in a new city and unfulfilled at work. Between the two of us the signs of exhaustion and depression were starting to show.
The Learning Curve in Dating Medicine
She needed our house to be a peaceful sanctuary away from work. Being a dude, I have a slightly lower standard of cleanliness than hers at the best of times.
Compound that with feelings of boredom and resentment towards the residency program. We had a couple major blowups in large part due to my inability to understand and express how everything was affecting me. Once we started communicating more, things got better again.
Despite how remarkable and wonderful I know many of these women to be, a lot of them were having a hard time finding an equally prodigious partner. It is the human in us intelligent, career-focused, headstrong women who are inherently caring and selfless in our professional lives that seek the unmatched companionship and unbridled passion of a partner to share our personal lives.
Unfortunately, as is the struggle for all educated women, female physicians and medical students find it harder to successfully date for a myriad of interesting reasons. And, unsurprisingly, it is even more difficult for women of color. The dating world is a tough place to navigate for all women in general. As usual, if a conversation during girls night gravitates to the topic, we soon find ourselves sharing our failures, lamentably comparing dating battle scars.
It would seem that dating for a female physician at any age or stage in her career is damn hard. Despite our lack of free time, mountains of work stress, and a professional life that often bleeds over into our personal lives, there are several other reasons dating experts and sociologist have identified as issues that make it more difficult for educated women to successfully date.
There has definitely been an obvious and palpable shift in who is more likely to pursue post-secondary education.
So if a female doctor tries to find a similarly educated man to pair herself with, the odds are unfortunately not in her favor. Yes, you can try to date men who are out of your league or who are not as educated as you. But, sadly, according to a social psychology studymen find a woman who they perceive to be more intelligent more attractive until they are less of an abstract thought and more of a concrete reality.
So, unlike what songs by Neyo, Lil Boosie, and Fabulous taunt as a flattering desire for an independent woman, men seem to still face social pressure to be the breadwinner and just prefer to be the alpha.
But of course, being a doctor was ranked as the 4th most desirable profession for a man, right after pilot, entrepreneur, and firefighter.