Tiger mom rules for dating

Tiger Mothers: Raising Children The Chinese Way : NPR

tiger mom rules for dating

A Letter to a Tiger Mom (From a Tiger Cub) — The Bold Italic — San Francisco. Go to the Dear Tiger Mother,. Did you get the 1) Online dating is nothing like the SAT, Mom! 6) The rules of the dating game have changed. Amy Chua's controversial book, "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother," and the accompanying publicity definitely got parents talking. Chua endorses a. Amy Chua, a professor of law at Yale, has written her first memoir about raising children the "Chinese way" — with strict rules and expectations. indulgences as sleepovers, play dates, and any extracurricular activities except.

It's all about pushing the kids to excel in school and to achieve a lot at young ages. It's about setting the stage for big success later on. But does it actually work? Tiger Moms set big goals for their kids. They put pressure on them and they think that they are pushing them to help them develop into adults who are well-rounded and successful.

In some cases, this type of parenting does backfire. Kids tend to rebel when they need to follow so many rules day in and day out. Wouldn't it be a harder life? If I couldn't space out with TV sometimes, I'd probably be more stressed out. If you're the child of a Tiger Mom, you will need to live your life TV-free.

Tiger Moms don't want their precious angels wasting time on television. They'd rather that their little darlings practice their violin for hours or do a bit of extra studying.

Tiger Mom Rules for a Sleepover

While too much TV is bad, no TV seems a bit cruel. It's true that kids who don't spend hours zoning out in front of televisions may develop their talents in other ways. Maybe they'll make amazing structures out of LEGO or draw pictures or write stories. Maybe they'll get good at sports. However, they'll never experience the joys of watching cartoons on TV while they enjoy some tasty snacks.

I watch TV with my son and he plays video games, too. I'm 0 for 2 at this point. I think he's turning out just fine, but most Tiger Moms would be pretty disgusted with my easy-going parenting style. I think kids who are good at video games are smart because some video games are very tough to play.

  • A Letter to a Tiger Mom (From a Tiger Cub) — The Bold Italic — San Francisco
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I'm actually impressed that my kid can do some of the complex puzzles and things that come up in his video games. He's good at these games, which I'm terrible at. He has the right kind of brain for video games. So, I don't see the point in stopping him from doing what he's good at. There is a lot of debate about video games and whether they are good or bad. Some of the criticism against video games is probably valid.

For example, a little kid shouldn't be playing Grand Theft Auto or some other violent video game. It's just not appropriate.

Sleepovers are usually a treasured part of childhood. They are a chance to hang out with close buddies who stay the night. However, most Tiger Moms forbid sleepovers. Their kids aren't allowed to have kids over for sleepovers or to go to other people's houses for sleepovers.

Tiger Mom Rules for a Sleepover

What do Tiger Moms think that their kids are going to do during sleepovers? Do they think they'll start drinking Jack Daniels, streaking through the neighborhood and stealing cars? I'm not really sure. Anyway, they don't approve of sleepovers. Maybe they think they sleepovers give kids too much freedom and encourage bad behavior. It must be something along those lines.

Maybe they don't want kids to be able to whisper to each other in the dark and exchange their thoughts and feelings in a way that they can't do during school classes. It's pretty rare that kids aren't allowed to have playdates, so you may consider this sign to be a big red flag.

Tiger Moms clearly don't see the value of play and socialization. They think that their kids will do better without the playdates. I guess they figure that their kids get to be around other children in class and that's good enough. I feel sorry for kids of Tiger Moms who are only children.

tiger mom rules for dating

My son is an only child and I think that forbidding playdates would have been very detrimental to his development and happiness. My son is older now, but he still hangs out with the same kids that he had playdates with when he was a toddler.

Forcing your kids to get straight As is pretty authoritarian. Some kids have higher IQs than others and asking kids who don't have really high IQs to get the best marks every time is kind of mean.

Yes, kids with lower IQs can work harder and do very well. Children of easygoing parents show better developmental outcomes than those with tiger parents. Children with harsh parents show the worst developmental outcomes.

What is the reaction from parents? The response among Asian Americans has been generally positive; some have said that they are pleased to see the stereotype of Asian Americans being challenged by our data. Some European American parents have told me that they felt guilty about being too lenient after they read Amy Chua's book, and wondered whether adopting Amy Chua's methods would make their children more successful in school.

After learning about my study, however, they feel better about their own parenting, and are glad to know that their children are better off with supportive parents, just as they always suspected. The reasons why a particular type of parenting works in one cultural group may not translate to another cultural group, partly because parenting goals are different in different groups.

What is Amy Chua's critique of our research? Jeff Yang and Amy Chua criticize the research for implying that Chinese parenting is the same as Western parenting.

Finally, they say the study can't explain why Asian Americans are overrepresented in the Ivy Leagues and in music conservatories. What is our repsonse to Amy Chua's reaction to the research? The study statistically controlled for parental educational level.

Confessions of a Tiger Mom: Why Chinese parenting is best - The Globe and Mail

If "tiger parenting" is not the answer, what explains why Asian Americans are over-represented in the best universities and science competitions? Angel Harris's work suggests that the success of Asian Americans can be attributed to their schooling behaviors rather than to prior skills. Collectively, these scholars are suggesting that Asian Americans are more likely to endorse the idea that academic success is due to effort instead of innate ability, and that they are more likely to believe that putting effort into school work will result in better academic outcomes.

Andrew Fuligni's work suggests that Asian American children's key to understanding their academic success. What is the take home message for the average parent? Regardless of how we analyze the data, we find that supportive parenting always comes out on top: They want to control everything—especially whom their child dates.

tiger mom rules for dating

A lot of parents do—not just the Asian ones. Many Asian parents also discriminate by profession. Doctors, lawyers, successful businessmen are acceptable. Writers, photographers, drug counselors—not so much.

The fact that I was all three meant I was triply screwed from the get-go. Grace, my overachieving ex-girlfriend, and I were madly in love for more than a year before I came face-to-face with her relentlessly strict mother, Esther. For some reason, I expected her to brutally say it to my face.

But upon meeting her, I found her unfailingly polite, a bit reserved, certainly resolute, but always gracious, regal even. It was clear that Grace had inherited her toughness and beauty from her. I liked Mama Esther.